tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72386113075869175482024-03-12T22:00:56.851-07:00strawberries and crayonsmusings of a most peculiar girl.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-19578820749187292202013-05-07T13:48:00.000-07:002013-05-07T13:48:30.317-07:00Fever Dream<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Porch<br />
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Even if I open my eyes<br />
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Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-64337552071779699892013-03-25T19:20:00.002-07:002013-03-25T19:20:38.910-07:00Library Search Engine Poem<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; text-decoration: none;"><b>e</b>xplosive earth</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; text-decoration: none;">Explosive eighteen</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; text-decoration: none;">Explosive power and strength</span>;<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none;">the magic of the white city</span></span>Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-58309507835427394352013-03-25T19:11:00.003-07:002013-03-25T19:11:52.924-07:00Unrelated Poems<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
1.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I wish I was a
conjurer</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I’d close my eyes and</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Make you reappear in </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Mirrored infinities</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">And how strange it is</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To long for other places</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Like others long for
home.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
2.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was born a tree planted</div>
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In a strip mall parking lot,</div>
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cool </div>
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to go to anymore,</div>
where the windows are
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Papered over, vacant eyes
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Advertising nothing maybe </div>
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you've been there
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Late at night</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exchanged bills or
kisses</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in the shadow of a
dented</div>
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El Camino <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I live</div>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in a empty
<br />
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parking lot</div>
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to nowhere.</div>
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I have no legs,</div>
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Just roots.</div>
Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-13431943372865791212013-01-04T21:18:00.001-08:002013-01-04T21:18:30.140-08:00I study weird things about you,<br />like the way the hem of your pants hit the top of your shoesChristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-9845778042087582322013-01-04T20:41:00.001-08:002013-01-04T20:41:57.286-08:00NYE IIDon't the neighbors know<br />
premature firecrackers read<br />
like a mistake? Midnight fireworks<br />
sound like a firing squad alone in<br />
my bed, and for a brief moment<br />
I can't distinguish the two.<br />
<br />
By morning drugstores have cleared red and green lights <br />
that once invaded late October aisles and afterwards,<br />
like it never happened<br />
all to make room for pink plastic and foil wrapped hearts;<br />
On my street, a Christmas inflatable Mickey Mouse lies<br />
deflated in one of the yards like a disappointment or<br />
a discarded lover.<br />
<br />
<br />Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-73629263333525025092013-01-04T20:09:00.000-08:002013-01-04T20:09:28.831-08:00to the boy at the microphone<br />
<br />
Mouths like yours make a cigarette look<br />
good when the lights are bright<br />
it feels for a chorus or two, like you see me<br />
but I imagine you don't <br />
<br />
lists of insults or compliments: you look better from faraway <br /><br />television has taught me to love any stranger with a familiar face.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-5477972445994126012012-08-12T21:36:00.000-07:002012-08-12T21:36:07.272-07:00lyrics and poemsThis morning, dreamt I had no hands, just sleeves.<br />
and you were holding some thin thread, there,<br />
twisting a story around your fingers<br />
and pulling my arms apart<br />
<br />
<br />
When I awoke, I didn't quite feel unraveled<br />
just folded up like a sweater in your case,<br />
I felt warm, I looked down<br />
and my hands were red mittens<br />
<br />
I said, I might be falling.<br />
you told me no,<br />
There was no use,<br />
<br />
let's not let our love become a stitched pillow poem<br />
<br />
<br />
I felt worn, you'd strung me up now, <br />
hung on the back of your door,<br />
<br />
You watched as I became the words in my mouth and a mass of wet tangled threads <br />
<br />
then left the room.<br />
I reached out<br />
grasping at anything, the hem of your pants<br />
shoelaces, belt loops, <br />
but I had no hands to hold on.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-22047712167488340562012-05-01T20:40:00.000-07:002012-05-01T20:40:24.911-07:00There Might be a Porpoise in My Closet<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now I don’t really know you</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But there might be a porpoise in</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
my closet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right next to the ferret and</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Christmas Winnie the Pooh.</div>
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Get out now while you can,</div>
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I have Neruda poems and</div>
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folded <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>New York <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>City postcards</div>
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In my wallet.</div>
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I have seven receipts from</div>
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The same restaurant in my back pocket</div>
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Some are stuck together with chewing gum.</div>
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You really should run!</div>
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I’ve <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>got dressers and
drawers</div>
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Filled with orphaned socks</div>
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And shrunken sweaters</div>
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Under which are</div>
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about a dozen empty lockets,</div>
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heart shaped, tangled in ribbons and chains.</div>
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Now didn't I say there was a porpoise in my closet? </div>
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Don't say you weren't warned.</div>Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-89161919660356175642012-05-01T20:01:00.003-07:002012-05-01T20:07:36.397-07:00I wanted to walk backwards across the night,<br />
spin in circles and rename the stars;<br />
jump from swings into grass and sand.<br />
With bright yellow chalk, I wanted
to write you words, draw you things. <br />
I wanted to fall from an armchair<br />
And land in your arms.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-12960311178845649052012-04-27T17:13:00.000-07:002012-04-27T17:13:40.485-07:00Thoughts from Places: StarbucksHe is crouched in a corner, almost out of view, more engrossed in his ipod than his melting frappochino. Perhaps he bought it so it wouldn’t look as though he was loitering, but what sort of person buys a drink he doesn’t want, just to sit somewhere and scroll through his songs. I’m noticing now that all the whipped cream is gone, only the smallest ring remains on the edges of the thawing drink. So perhaps he is the sort of man that enjoys the simple things in life, the dollops of whipped cream, songs he’s already heard.
Now he’s taking a sip, stretching his fingers before he types another phrase--so perhaps it isn’t an ipod. Maybe it is his phone.
This changes everything. What sort of guy buys a drink he doesn’t want just to sit outside of a café he doesn’t particularly enjoy just to type trite phrases to some girlfriend from somewhere faraway. I don’t like him anymore.
***
There are four older people at the table. Two men, two ladies.
He looks like Clint Eastwood. And that’s the reason he’s with this chick next to him. She liked Clint Eastwood back when he was in that movie Dirty Hairy. She saw it when she was young. But she isn’t anymore.
Wait, I can tell Clint isn’t with this chick. I think she’s the other guy’s wife. I know this because of the look of earnest enthusiasm when he looks at her.
The other guy—mustache man. He just looks bored; bored with both women. He’s doesn’t care much for Eastwood, for obvious reasons. He’s watching the two hipster kids pull away in their hipster SUV.
Maybe he’s wishing he was with him.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-76655116449675899052012-04-27T17:00:00.002-07:002012-04-27T17:00:39.498-07:00I told lots of things to the back of your head,
To the taillights on your car
To your North Face jacket.
Things like
Please turn around,
and thank you for putting
cream and sugar in the coffee.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-81298229843301217962012-04-11T17:01:00.002-07:002012-04-11T17:05:28.279-07:00Breaking up with You and Google TranslateBreaking up with you and Google Translate<br /><br />I will speak to you in French<br />And I will not know what I am saying,<br />Because it is not my first language,<br />I will think it is beautiful,<br />You will laugh at the mangled tense.<br />I will cry over poems we wrote,<br />Me and Google Translate.<br />We will break up over language<br />Barriers. Each saying the right<br />Thing in the wrong language.<br />And I will type an apology into <br />Google, instead of you,<br />Explaining that I am sorry,<br />Please don’t reply.<br />I hope you always knew <br />You were a hideous tool<br />In the hands of a hopeless <br />Romantic,<br />Your words were never your own,<br />Even if you meant them.<br />I only liked you to speak French<br />To me,<br />Repeating back<br />Sentences I typed into you with my own hands.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-90784069459802790552012-01-17T10:52:00.000-08:002012-01-17T10:53:00.762-08:00Rain ParadeI had a dream of a big parade:<br />Balloons danced through my head,<br />But you were running circles <br />Around everything I dreamed.<br />Water drops fell on my keyboard as I slipped<br />Into sleep, but they were nothing<br />Compared to your storm.<br />You looked slicker in that<br />Yellow coat<br />When you gazed up<br />At that dry brush sky,<br />Treading in the waters<br />Of your personal<br />Raincloud.<br />And I watched clumsily, sealed<br />Behind school bus windows as<br />Pools of rain gathered around you,<br />Making tendrils of ink from your long dark hair. <br />I wanted to jump those puddles too,<br />But I felt myself falling <br />into the parched linens of my own bed.<br />I awoke thirsty.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-39111838496706682472011-12-28T20:11:00.001-08:002011-12-28T20:11:58.110-08:00I am...Mélomane, bibliophile and closeted hipster. But only because it's easier to describe a person based upon their interests rather than their actual essence.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-70396896689311813902011-12-26T23:08:00.001-08:002011-12-26T23:13:20.190-08:00Not really a poemWhat I knew then I don't know now<br />and if I had known what I now know<br />would things be different?<br />sometimes I wonder<br />If I was still the me I was<br />Would you and I be 'we'?Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-26171785972756417772011-12-23T18:29:00.000-08:002011-12-23T19:01:27.818-08:00New Year'sIn the shrubs, icicle lights flickered their duplicitous red-green. <br />Red. Green. Red. <br />Stop, go. Stop, go. Stop.<br />We were two near empty champagne glasses together<br />Not quite enough to make a sip, but just enough to make<br />It a little less lonely there on the edge<br />Of a year.<br />Behind the screen door they moved forward at the<br />Distant drop of a ball while we, two strangers,<br />sat divided by a line of mortar on a porch stair<br />From those moss bricked steps, it smelled<br />Like fire and wet ground,<br />And I imagined all the other-lives twinkling<br />Around us.<br />They danced a rhythm discordant to our own.<br />The lights blinked: <br />Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. <br />What I would have given for a yellow light<br />So I could have floored us straight though<br />to tomorrow.<br />Where lines left uncrossed became braidedChristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-60106901416376870622011-12-22T18:02:00.000-08:002011-12-22T18:05:14.465-08:00night poetryuntitled<br /><br />Your fluorescent reflection of a retrograde girlfriend<br />Hands exchanged over a melamine tabletop<br />You are traveling though<br />A treacherous revolving door.<br />Lemon wedge moon above him, trace<br />The bitter ridges of your fingertips<br />Pale skin in proximity, together<br />You are alone, under the night<br />Amongst the others that have traversed that line.<br />Nearness was all you wanted, and he thanks <br />His lucky stars that it was nearness,<br />And not togetherness.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-27994853211989549892011-12-07T21:49:00.000-08:002011-12-07T21:51:21.165-08:00Winter TownI want to live in a winter town,<br />Live in a state of perpetual unthaw,<br />Content with cold, my chilly companion,<br />Never wishing for the embrace of a scarf or shawl.<br />I’d seek no respite in hot drinks or flannel sheets,<br />Let me exist in a world of snowy bliss, un-pined<br />For the bloom of springs warm sticky kiss.<br />I want to live in a winter town.<br />Leave me with dead leaves, hailstones, and sleeted streets<br />To inhabit frosted windows <br />Alone and unmelted around a never-fire.<br />In the shivered December, surrender me <br />To mounds of white where snow angels abound.<br />Loose me to the icicle arms of a winter town.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-62704782487369663142011-03-22T21:44:00.000-07:002011-03-22T21:48:18.180-07:00dandelion firesEnough of these dandelion fires<br />Fields consumed by flames<br />Set ablaze to tame<br />What we shouldn’t desire.<br />Enough of these<br />Dream catchers,<br />These heartbreakers,<br />These deal breakers,<br />Generating our fears<br />And drying our tears <br />‘til naught remains.<br />Enough of these <br />Life-takers.<br />We need more<br />Wish makers<br />Whose thoughts and dreams inspire.<br />Enough of these dandelion fires.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-85460531720538196582011-03-21T18:50:00.000-07:002011-03-21T19:19:41.702-07:00Backyard Valentine<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuiVb1FdyiWQcdeGgMKYadqxPTUV0SQv9uYPecwMNuYNioakPZLuUYhz7r-GFrzSG_37osyW_BEXI1IJkzPnzrsTJHCU3rhDW40Ow87huRSjimFwujaUBN8WFFzS2x-S8J-3UN83KiYOBb/s1600/card.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 182px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuiVb1FdyiWQcdeGgMKYadqxPTUV0SQv9uYPecwMNuYNioakPZLuUYhz7r-GFrzSG_37osyW_BEXI1IJkzPnzrsTJHCU3rhDW40Ow87huRSjimFwujaUBN8WFFzS2x-S8J-3UN83KiYOBb/s320/card.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586723093938982258" /></a><br /><em>The following poem won second place in the Live Oak Public Libraries Young Writer's contest college category.</em> <br /><br />My fear is<br />Feeling that way<br />But not knowing what to say<br />A kite that lost a tree’s fight<br />A stashed and torn up love note<br />A paper boat filled with marbles<br />Sinking in the waters of what if.<br />My Fear<br />Keeps a diary with shackles<br />Promises to make me whole,<br />Never knows where to go,<br />So he hides in places like hearts<br />And aisles of Wal-Mart.<br />I ask, his answer is no.<br />My Fear is<br />Wearing on this Converse sole<br />My fear is running out of time.<br />Reaching, reaching, reaching<br />The top branch and forgetting how to climb<br />So I carved you this backyard valentine.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-48881708640814472902011-03-21T18:40:00.000-07:002011-03-21T18:44:08.221-07:00fear, steal, feel, heal.If love does set out to steal<br />We must take what we can<br />But give what we must <br />Gather it all in the dust<br />Of the broken things left,<br />Find beauty in the theft.<br />Love and hate all desire <br />The hearts we hold<br />While apathy wishes<br />Our souls to take<br />But the worst of all<br />There is to feel, is fearChristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-6761985540078176242011-03-21T18:20:00.000-07:002011-03-21T18:34:32.861-07:00Losing YouLosing you<br />Should have been<br />Hands slipping from a rope<br />Sudden, and swift, caught by surprise.<br />An endless torrent of confetti<br />In a ball room, with a kiss by your bride.<br />Losing you <br />Should have been<br />Careening torturously down a slippery slope<br />Sickened and clammy, in a hospital bed<br />Cold and alone, crashing waves against a jetty.<br />Losing you should have been<br />Blood everywhere, sirens on the road side,<br />But it wasn’t.<br />Losing you<br />Was <br />Hearts giving up the hope<br />In a kitchen with tired eyes<br />Over plates of half eaten spaghetti<br />When I said I was fine, and lied.<br />Losing you<br />Was <br />Just silence on the car ride<br />When <br />Losing you should have been <br />A phone call in the night.<br />Prayers and tears, while looking down<br />At you, with a handful of dirt<br />In a wooden box with flowers.<br />Losing you should have been<br />An ending at the cemetery <br />With a sermon and a stone.<br />But it wasn’t.<br />Losing you was<br />Subtle and slow<br />The same old fight<br />Hiding a frown<br />From you, pretending it didn’t hurt<br />As we wandered aisles for hours,<br />Arguing about dinner at the grocery.<br />Losing you was<br />The search for a box of cheerios,<br />A return with an offer to wash the dishes,<br />This time, anything to keep from<br />Losing you,<br />Only to find I was alone.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-34105247245564608032011-03-03T18:46:00.000-08:002011-03-03T18:47:38.330-08:00the first boy<em>You were first, I think.</em><br />Even now I remember you pacing in the driveway; <br />Your sunburned freckles and curly hair,<br />Waiting for me.<br /> And no one before had been so anxious for me,<br />had shared our secret, been my official business partner,<br /> Didn’t think I was weird, call me a witch, or chase me away<br /> On their red 10 speed bike.<br />You were the first to enjoy my company and own the same favorite beanie baby.<br />Before you, no one was lemonade and big wheels and all summertime things<br />Remember us in your backyard, back by the a/c,<br /> Near the chain link fence where I dared you to try things,<br />When I thought I had really tricked you?<br />You smelled like sweat and Juicy Fruit gum,<br />And traded baseball cards for stick-on tattoos.<br />Really, I think the first adventurous one was you;<br />You were the first boy in the entire world.<br /> Because I was moving and would be gone soon,<br />You and I were the first of many things that couldn’t last.<br />But you were the first one I wanted to stay<br />And the first time I was afraid to say so, and the first boy<br />I thought about when I was alone, <br />The first boy I think of <br />When I think of all the First Boys I’ve ever known.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-41030775432589091792011-03-02T16:28:00.000-08:002011-04-08T20:15:45.217-07:00MeShe told me the pictures didn't look a bit like me.<br />I shoved the black and white versions of me, the<br />glossy, posed, exaggerated beauty I wanted so much to see<br />back in my pocket, and ran down the stairs, sorry I had<br />shown what I thought to be the truest depiction <br />of me<br />only to get the rejection I feared the most in an<br />appearance less than glossed, posed and printed,<br />When I placed them in the album, I caught a glimpse<br />of my own reflection in the sheen of my ink jet paper<br />face. <br />It was then I knew<br />I am never who I mean to be, <br />and always at once what I am perceived to be<br />and even best opinions and self evaluations<br />will never amount to anything more than fictionChristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7238611307586917548.post-3041699056021871182011-03-02T15:02:00.000-08:002011-03-02T15:07:55.677-08:00hearts are houses<br />they have closets, hallways,<br />windows and doors<br />places to enter, places to exit<br />plenty of room to hide, in need of repair.<br />wood burning fireplace, eat-in kitchen--<br />a real fixer upper.<br />with some love and care <br />could this house be home?<br />Sunday open house, free cookies and punch.<br />Heart for sale by owner,<br />inquire within.Christenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17430437147347321741noreply@blogger.com0